This is so annoying.. ugh.... I hate insurance.

So I needed to write today... I know I have not been keeping up on this. Hey, I had no grand illusions that I would be able too. And since I guess I'm mostly writing it for myself does it really matter? no..... lol


So In August, I went to get my refill of my Saxenda.  Nope can't have it because I have to wait for pre auth again from my Doc office. I had thought that back in oh I don't know July when I saw my doctor she was going to send information to my insurance than because she knew we needed to do that again.. NOPE.... Someone dropped the ball. So here I am its Sept 5th. I still dont' have my meds. I have been off of them since August 27th. Now when and if they do approve it. I'm going to have to start over. I was down 29lbs. I weighed myself yesterday and I had gained 4lbs.  My husband thought it was water retention because we camped. I didn't think it could be but at least some of it is because I woke up 5 times last night to pee and omg it was like I had not gone to the bathroom in hours each time. I weighed myself this morning and I'm only up 1lb

I talked to the Doc office yesterday. Still no word. So I'm going to call my insurance again today. Wish me luck because I have friends that do coding for insurance they are saying I should have known by now.

The struggle is real.. I only get help from Saxenda for the discount for a year and this is messing with my year of being able to do that. ugh.

Need to change things up. :(

So I'm a little frustrated this week. First of all being in a flair up with my stupid Fibro and APS... So I hurt, and I'm just tired all the time.

Also.... I made it up to 3.0 with my saxenda. Stayed on that for I think about 2 weeks. In that two weeks, I have only lost two pounds... I really want to keep myself at that 2lbs a week. So yesterday I did as the doctor suggested and I brought myself back down to 1.8. Hopefully, this will work.

I have no idea of having a flair up is affecting my weight loss. I do know that saxenda has helped me a LOT with my sugar cravings but this past week and a half since I started flaring up I am craving sugar. It's driving me crazy. Luckily the only real thing I have in the house now that is sugar is freeze-pops.

I'm sure I should stay away from the frozen sugar water as well but they help to get me past the cravings. I still am not hungry often, but last night I was able to eat more than I normally am able to, however, it made me feel sick after. I know from past experience that when I flair up I crave things. I don't know if that is a physical thing or a psychological thing. It very well could be a psychological thing because when you feel drained, can't do much, you are in lots of pain and start to feel a bit down well depression makes you crave sugar too. Heck just going on antidepressants finally this year made me lose 10lbs.

So I guess I'm not sure where this leaves me. I'm trying very hard not to be upset that I'm not really losing weight at the moment and not beat myself up over it. I honestly don't feel like I'm eating a lot more than I was. In the past two weeks, I have had a pint of Ice cream that took 3 days in all to eat. It didn't even just sit and eat the whole pint. I cupcake with out the frosting at a grad party and freeze-pops. Oh yeah and a couple of suckers. But I'm not over eating sugar at all. If that is the bulk of the sugar I have had in two weeks that isn't bad and I should be beating myself up over it because almost every other thing I'm eating is healthy.

I will say I'm still struggling to drink as much water as I should. Water is pretty much all I drink so I have always thought I was doing great. But if all you drink is a bottle and a half of water a day I'm clearly not getting enough water into my body and I need to fix that!!! So I'm making that a new goal. I am going to make my first goal to get two bottles of water a day in. .Still not enough water I know because that is only 32oz. But once I can get myself to that I will up it again. I think it's recommended to drink 64oz. I don't know if I can ever get to that but it's really only 4 bottles of water so if I look at like that, perhaps I can.

So drinking water more might help the lbs to fall off faster as well and it might clean the toxin out of my body first and help me along... Hoping. My other struggle. Breakfast. I just can't seem to do it. I have protein shakes I got from Costco to drink for breakfast. But since I don't drink much lol.... I get one out and it takes me over an hour to finish it. So second goal... To work on the breakfast thing. Either a shake or something in the Am to get my metabolism boosted. So this week's goals. Water, breakfast. I got this!!!!

I guess if anyone is reading this. Which I don't think there is.. Stay tuned to see if I can achieve those goals and kick this weight loss thing in the ass.

update on my Journey

So it has has been just over two months. I am now on the 3.0 dose.
Tips if your reading this because your thinking of starting saxenda. Go up slower in dose then your doctor may tell you. When you go up a full dose you get more side effects.

It took me almost a full 2 months to get up to the 3.0 but I'm glad I did it that way. I didn't have many side effects at all.
So, for the most part, I have lost a steady 2 lbs per week. I know some people lose faster but because of my APS , Fibro, and bursitis its difficult for me to work out. I do what I can though. My Doctor told me it's actually really good to lose between 1 to 3 lbs a week. It allows your body to adjust easily and your less likely to put that all back on.
With that said I'm down 12 lbs. from the Saxenda and a total of 22 lbs since January.

So, all in all, I'm happy with how it's going. I did have one week where I didn't lose any. It was the week I hit 2.4 dose. My doctor said if I plateau I can drop back down to 1.8.

I have not checked my measurements yet but I think I will later this week because I'm sure I have lost more in inches that I have in weight. Right now My goal is still to get to a size 16... And from there we will see if i want or need to lose more. I only have a year on this with the discount card and then unless something in life changes I will not be able to afford my co-pay.
I am actually pretty blessed to have the copay I do. Most have it much higher or their insurance will not cover it at all. My co-pay is $200 but with the discount card it's 30.00

Well enough for now.....
If you happen to read this and you have questions. feel free to ask.

First month down

So first month down... Lost 8lbs total. Need to wrap my head around that because It seems like It should be so much more. But Avg of 2lbs a week is actually really healthy weight loss.

What it really comes down to is I was hoping for like 10 or 15lbs the first month. But it's all good. I'm losing every week and that is what is important.

I might take my measurements tomorrow. If I can find where I wrote the first ones. Sigh. I should have written them in my planner. But you know that whole you don't like what you see so you try not to look again.

I often wonder if we see ourselves how we really are? Do we see ourselves bigger or smaller? Do I look older to myself than what other people see? That one I know is the case as people tell me all the time I Look like I'm 30/35 and I'm 49... I think because I am seeing the aging I notice the fine lines they don't.

So moving forward.... I don't know if I should set a weight loss goal for myself.  I have been on a yo-yo far too long with diets and I fear if I start to do that and I don't make one I will be back to feeling like I did when I dieted so many times over the years.
I am also still wondering if I should just get the sleeve. Maybe the weight would come off faster. But surgery. Surgery can be tricky, scary and just because I had a friend who is having no problems after hers doesn't mean I won't.  She can pretty much eat what she wants she just gets full fast.
I have talked to others who can no longer eat many of the foods they love because they get sick if they do.

 I hate that weight has filled my life with a constant struggle since I was a teenager. Hell, my first diet was at 18 and been doing them since.. Best diet I was ever one. Mono with strep throat. I was so sick I was in the hospital. I dropped about 25/30 lbs and went from a size 10/12 to a size 5.
I really don't recommend it. It's painful, you are tired all the time for months and well guess what you gain all the weight back because you can actually eat when you couldn't eat or drink for 2 months basically. And No I would do this over again even I could. It was horrible and I don't even wish that on my enemy. But it was the one time in my entire life I could fit into a two piece.  And if you're wondering. Hell no I didn't get it on purpose.

Well is the start of another month. And I'm dosing up tomorrow. Should have today but totally forgot. I'm at 1.8 at the moment. Going up 3 clicks tomorrow. I am also going to try to go out and get some breakfast shakes or something this week. I think I'm not taking in enough calories and that makes your body feel like it's starving and it tries to hang on to the weight. So that might well be my issue. That and more water...

Okay later......

Sunday day 28 weight in

So I'm on a solid 1.8 now. And I am going to stay on that for at least a week. I lost 3lbs this week. It's a slow loss but well they say if you lose it slow you will keep it off. I can only hope ...

Not having too many issues with the meds at all. But I have noticed headaches. I'm going to keep an eye out on that.

Not a lot to report. I would say for the most part I'm going pretty good. I'm sure I would lose more if I could work out. But well. I'm doing my best to make good food choices and not eat too much of things that work against what I'm doing.

Heck, we went to DQ the other day because OMG they have cotton candy blizzards right now and they are my fav. Well, I got a Mini and could only eat half. So hey. that is pretty good. way less than I normally would have eaten.

Thursday day 25 Don't eat it...

So far so good....

Some things I have noticed.

So I have noticed things that I am trying to keep track of.
Anytime I eat bread I get a stomach ache or feel sick. No fun so no bread. Which is okay I don't eat it that often anyway.

If I eat after 9pm I get really bad stomach cramps. Again no fun not going to do that..

I was pretty sick for a few days but realized it was the dumb antibiotic.

I don't like shots in the arm, they hurt and seem to make me feel a bit light headed.

So I have myself up to 1.2 plus 6 clicks.. 4 clicks away from the 1.8 I need to be at.  I will be taking today's dose here in just a bit and I will go up another 2 clicks so I will be only 2 clicks away from 1.8. once I hit 1.8 I'm going to stay there for a week :)

I don't know if I have lost any weight this week. I will not know until Sunday. I am hoping so because it was pretty much a bummer to not lose any last week.

I need to work on drinking more water, more fluids in general. My mouth is dry all the time, For some reason, water just is not doing it for me right now. Like I'm tired of drinking it lol
Perhaps not drinking enough is why I'm not losing as fast as I would prefer.

I would love to lose 20lbs before Convention so before August.. And so far I need to work harder is that is going to happen. I think I need to get on a reg schedule for food because of the not hungry thing. Not eating enough is not going to help me lose either but I have such a hard time wrapping my head around that.
well off to do breakfast and yadda yadda...

Sunday.. Day 21 of my journey.. slightly bummed

So I have been on the 1.2 dose for a few days now. Seem to be doing well on it. Things I have noticed thus far are.

I can't each much in one setting even more so than before. Some things that are sweet are super sweet icky.  I notice I don't each much but am hungry on a more reg basis. Like I will eat a small amount than about 2 to 4 hours later I'm hungry again. Might take me a bit to get used to that. The doctor says its good though.. I need to lose 15 lbs for my insurance to allow for a refill. I finished my first pen today. I have 4 more. And 10 more lbs to go. I would ideally like to lose at least 20lbs before conventions in August.

Not much nausea. Sometimes about an hour after my dose, I will have some. That is subject to change when I go up again.

I weighed in today. A bit bummed because I didn't lose. However: at least I didn't gain. There is that.

I guess we will see what the next week brings.