So I'm realizing a pattern over the past week. Each morning I wake up in incredible pain and incredibly depress. The depression is from waking up in pain. If it was not for the pain I wouldn't feel so fucking sad each morning. Some nights I got to bed just dreading what I will feel like when I wake up. And I realize that when I was able to take a dervocet at night before I would go to bed those mornings I wouldn't wake up quit as sore as I have been. But I can't take that anymore. Its no longer on the market.
They gave me Tylenol 3 which doesn't seem to do a damn thing for my pain. My RH doc upped my lyrica a wail ago and that isn't doing anything for the pain either. I'm starting to wonder if there is anything that is going to take this fucking pain away. I hate this. I'm tired all the time. I'm tired of having to depend on other people to do things for me becuase I just can't seem to get to them.
I'm tired of Elric giving me task to do and feeling overwhelmed that I might not be able to get them done becuase I'm in so much pain.
And than to add insult to injury my sinus's have been killing me every morning. I'm taking suddefed and pain meds for it and they feel like they are on fucking fire. I have gone through 3 sets of antibiotics now. I'm pretty sure if it was a sinus infection it would have gone away by now. So what the hell is up with that.
Fuck I guess I'm tired of being me. And this isn't a pity party. Or poor me. Its just a giant fucking vent because I can't vent this to people. Not becuase they will not listen but because I don't want to talk about it to people.
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